When I came home alone one night, Grey as usual, ran out of the house for the corridor FREEDOM FREEDOM as if he's Julie Andrews rolling down the hill singing The Hills Are Alive. I dropped my bags in the bedroom and went out to get him back. I don't like picking him up so I tried the food tactic.

Usually waving a packet of wet food is enough to tempt the fella in but this time he just glanced at me distractedly before going back to examining the drain.

So I placed his food bowl near the door and tore open the packet, as it was dinner time anyway, and poured the food into the bowl. FOOD FOOD, i tempted him but he ignored me. I tapped the bowl against the floor but he didn't hear me.

I walked out to the corridor, hoping no neighbour was watching, and waved the bowl of WET YUMMY TEMPTING uhm FISH STUFF in his face. typically he'd be fainting from hunger and practically clawing to get into his dinner but he acted like he didn't smell the inviting fish stench. annoyed, I tapped the food bowl against his head.

TOK TOK TOK

oy, your dinner. eat leh.

TOK TOK TOK

Grey sniffed at the drain.

TOK TOK TOK
I tapped the edge of the plastic bowl against his head. no reaction.

TOK TOK TOK

I think the cat has dementia. he has forgotten what dinner smelled like.

Grey, of course.

I was frowning at him while he glowered at me. what you staring at? his eyes asked.

As I opened the front door, Grey sneaked out, as always. Without fail, every day when someone comes home through the front door, he will try to sneak out. He doesn't go very far but it's really annoying having to chase him back. Previously waving a packet of wet food would lure him in but he has soon learnt it's a false trap. Stamping our feet really loudly would scare him in but doing a mad dance out in the common corridor is embarassing.

My solution is to spray him with water. we have a spray bottle parked on the shoe rack for such purposes. Cats hate water. So everytime he sneaked out, all I had to do was douse him liberally with water and he would scoot back in again.

One night when I came home tired, Grey sneaked out again. Having no patience to deal with this, I grabbed the water bottle and started spraying at Grey. After a few squirts, I smelled something fragrant. I wondered why does Grey smelled like flowers.

I glanced down at the bottle and realised I wasn't holding the water spray. Instead I was holding the Febreeze bottle. I had mistakenly grabbed the Febreeze bottle, which had a blue head, instead of the water spray bottle, which also had a blue head.

Horrified, I quickly grabbed the right bottle and sprayed over Grey, partly trying to chase him in, partly trying to dilute the cloud of Febreeze on him. After I slammed the door shut, I froze, not knowing what to do. Should I just pretend it didn't happen, or confess to Bryan that I Febreezed his precious cat.

Grey stared at me accusingly.

Trying to minimise the harm done, I grabbed paper towels and wiped Grey down. He protested loudly at being cathandled but it was for his own good. God forbid if he were to collapse from smelling so good.

on hindsight, he was probably cleaner than he's ever been for some time.

Grey, knowing he's not allowed into the bedroom, tried to sneak in the last time the door was left ajar. Unfortunately for him, I caught him halfway into the room and exclaimed NO! loudly. he froze and pretended he was invisible. I tried to hook my foot under his torso to lift him out, which works with Fido. Grey decided to act like a protestor and went limp. He collapsed onto the floor like a raggedy doll and laid there. As Bryan laughed at him, Grey eyeballed me as if daring me to lift him out the way the riot police were forced to lift protestors out of the way. I just poked my foot into his body and pushed him out of the room like a sad floor mat. in retaliation, Grey left a small tuft of cat hair on my big toe.

I come home. The cats run to the door to greet me.

I enter the room. The cats sit outside waiting.

I come out. The cats glance at me and start walking to their bowls.

Fido pauses at the kitchen door. I turned on the kitchen light.

I pick up the cat food container. Both cats stare at me in anticipation.

I pour food into one bowl. Fido runs towards it.

I pour food in the other bowl. Fido runs towards it.

I put the food aside. Fido eats. Grey waits for the wet food that will never come.

He's much better now, thank you for all your prayers. When the stones were removed, he was still peeing spots all over the house so the doctor prescribed stronger antibiotics for suspected infection. He's back to his usual self now. his poop is hard and normal. he eats well. he doesn't suffer from incontinence anymore. and he's back to meowing at the door.